Archive for May 2008
Lost My Mikejo?
So I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, but everything feels off. Like I’m two beats behind. Like I’m mimicking my life, not living it.
I don’t feel like a writer anymore. The tank feels empty. I know it’s not actually empty, but it feels that way. It feels that way because I haven’t practiced. I haven’t done any writing — timed or otherwise — since the 24th of April. I ended the semester with good intentions, but instead I’ve ended up with a case of laziness. My brain just wants a vacation for a bit. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling like I’ve lost my mojo because all term long, all I do is preach balls-to-the-wall, doitdoitdoit, keep going, and now that I don’t have to, I can’t make myself stop without feeling guilty. I feel like I ought to be working. Like I ought to be writing.
This entry is the first thing I’ve written, other than email, in a few weeks. My hinges are rusty.
I also can’t read anything without thinking of ways I can take what I’m absorbing and turning it into a lesson or unit for my classes. But then I ask myself, What classes? I’m not teaching right now, and anything I do think of will have to be shelved for three months until the fall term starts. I’m driving myself crazy, and for no good reason.
Somebody stop me, because I can’t seem to stop myself.
Namaste… MS
